Its my Distraction tonight. Aside from my friends Ashley and Stephanie. Conference Im's. I dropped his stuff off. He broke down. That was the hardest thing to do, stick to my words. I dunno what to do....
I wanted him to grab my by the arm and spin me around and kiss me and tell me that he loves me. He didn't. He had his back to me when I left. I don't know what hurt worse. That he didn't do it, or that he was acting cold. I mean - he was it! He was the one I wanted for the rest of my life.
I guess I don't get what I want. That's life right?
I just have to keep walking. I had no classes today, both my professors are in San Diego for some conference. Ironic.
I've just watched Kim Yu Na, (Korea) Mao Asado (correct?) (Japan), Joannee (again spelling) Rochette (Canada), Rachael Flatt (USA) and Mirai Nagasu (USA) perform. Yu Na is gonna take gold, Asado is gonna take silver and Rochette bronze. The two U.S. skaters were good, but nothing compared to the three medalists. I liked Rochette the best, because it take GUTS to go out on the ice after her mother passed away.
Yes I'm rambling. Its getting my mind off of Josh. Not well, but it is....
More later.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
It was not my fault
Its not my fault you failed your test. Its not my fault that you let yourself get distracted. I know you are having problems. I never tried to be clingy, that was unintentional. You wanted the distraction. You were the reason it took so long. You wanted me to walk away. I warned you that if I walk away, I am not coming back. I love you, I really do, but I'm not going to wait on you anymore. I'm not going to go through it again. You messed up, and I'm done. It feels like the world is crashing, but I'm too angry to care. Just because you're tired isn't a reason to skip class. I work until 2 am, and I stay up until like 3 or 4 am, and I STILL get up and go to my classes.
Don't you blame me for something you did. Ever. I'll still be your friend when my anger passes, but I will not be your girlfriend again. You go on, you make your career, you make a name for yourself. I'm already on the track to do that for me. I hope you realize what you did, even if I'm not going to come back.
I'm sorry that you think its my fault. I'm sorry that you're the one giving up. Its your loss, you're the one that knew what would happen if you told me to walk away. I'm not going to cry about it anymore. I did that. I hope you get what you want, because you lost me. You broke my heart once again. Good luck with that.
Don't you blame me for something you did. Ever. I'll still be your friend when my anger passes, but I will not be your girlfriend again. You go on, you make your career, you make a name for yourself. I'm already on the track to do that for me. I hope you realize what you did, even if I'm not going to come back.
I'm sorry that you think its my fault. I'm sorry that you're the one giving up. Its your loss, you're the one that knew what would happen if you told me to walk away. I'm not going to cry about it anymore. I did that. I hope you get what you want, because you lost me. You broke my heart once again. Good luck with that.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Waiting on class to start.
I'm overhearing a few girls talking, right? Well they're not talking about anything important. And they are talking about things that don't matter at all. They're putting way too much emphasis on things that don't need to be worried about. Leaving the dryer on when you leave your house? Um, that won't catch your house on fire - unless you don't keep up with the lent filter. Now, leaving your house with a candle going? That's pretty bad. Leaving your house with clothes in the washer? That's not good, considering it will get mildewy (I forgot about my laundry last night so yeah).
They're also talking about what they were wearing last night, and what they're cell phones look like and how its not supposed to look like it. Seriously? Its a phone. Mine's a piece of crap go phone from AT&T. Its beat up and scratched and such. My car's beat up, dented, scratched, etc. I don't think I really have a bad car, but considering I used to have a 1992 Red Honda Prelude, its nothing special. Yeah I wrecked my Prelude freshman year in college. I was driving to work, hydroplaned and hit a tree. Prelude totaled. Needed a new car. I hate people who thinks that they just need everything handed to them. Yes, I will admit that my first cars were given to me. The Prelude was given to me by my grandma, and my Malibu was given to me by grandpa. The Malibu doesn't even have a CD player. It has an FM/AM radio. Do you know how boring 8 hour car drives are now? Yeah no.... I can't complain though - because it gets me to and from work everyday.
So my boyfriend told his family that he's joining our school's AF ROTC (Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corp). The conversation went fairly well. Considering he thought that they'd murder him for it. Well we believe that his father is planning an intervention. I seriously think that they think that this was my idea. If it was my idea, I would've said Navy, since that's what I'm going into. It was interesting, their response. I wish that this whole thing had lit a fire under his butt though. But I don't think it did. I want him to want to marry me. So far, it doesn't look like its gonna happen.
But anyways, back to my overhearing this conversation. Don't they have anything better to talk about? Seriously? Like what they're gonna do after college? Maybe that's it. They don't know. Oh well.
Well that's all I'm gonna say on that. This past weekend was so monotonous....I think I rang up the same groceries both days. Tonight's supposed to be a little different, providing I actually get to do the job I'm supposed to do tonight. Ohhh Fun.
Its a gloomy day today. Friday went pretty well. I was in a good mood for the most part. I know that I'm just doing some rants so far, but that's all that's in my head right now. And a lot of it I can't say aloud.
I get my computer either at the end of this week or at the end of next week. I'm supposed to get my tax refund this week, and I was gonna spend it on my tattoo on my birthday week, but I might just get my tires for my car done. Sighs. I was hoping for my tattoo. But necessity comes before wants. Such is life.
Speaking of tattoos. I'm getting a butterfly on my shoulder (not because its a butterfly) and I'm gonna have a snake going up or down my leg. I think it'll be interesting. The butterfly I'm getting is because my two friends and I created a story with 3 sisters. Their family symbol was a butterfly.
They're also talking about what they were wearing last night, and what they're cell phones look like and how its not supposed to look like it. Seriously? Its a phone. Mine's a piece of crap go phone from AT&T. Its beat up and scratched and such. My car's beat up, dented, scratched, etc. I don't think I really have a bad car, but considering I used to have a 1992 Red Honda Prelude, its nothing special. Yeah I wrecked my Prelude freshman year in college. I was driving to work, hydroplaned and hit a tree. Prelude totaled. Needed a new car. I hate people who thinks that they just need everything handed to them. Yes, I will admit that my first cars were given to me. The Prelude was given to me by my grandma, and my Malibu was given to me by grandpa. The Malibu doesn't even have a CD player. It has an FM/AM radio. Do you know how boring 8 hour car drives are now? Yeah no.... I can't complain though - because it gets me to and from work everyday.
So my boyfriend told his family that he's joining our school's AF ROTC (Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corp). The conversation went fairly well. Considering he thought that they'd murder him for it. Well we believe that his father is planning an intervention. I seriously think that they think that this was my idea. If it was my idea, I would've said Navy, since that's what I'm going into. It was interesting, their response. I wish that this whole thing had lit a fire under his butt though. But I don't think it did. I want him to want to marry me. So far, it doesn't look like its gonna happen.
But anyways, back to my overhearing this conversation. Don't they have anything better to talk about? Seriously? Like what they're gonna do after college? Maybe that's it. They don't know. Oh well.
Well that's all I'm gonna say on that. This past weekend was so monotonous....I think I rang up the same groceries both days. Tonight's supposed to be a little different, providing I actually get to do the job I'm supposed to do tonight. Ohhh Fun.
Its a gloomy day today. Friday went pretty well. I was in a good mood for the most part. I know that I'm just doing some rants so far, but that's all that's in my head right now. And a lot of it I can't say aloud.
I get my computer either at the end of this week or at the end of next week. I'm supposed to get my tax refund this week, and I was gonna spend it on my tattoo on my birthday week, but I might just get my tires for my car done. Sighs. I was hoping for my tattoo. But necessity comes before wants. Such is life.
Speaking of tattoos. I'm getting a butterfly on my shoulder (not because its a butterfly) and I'm gonna have a snake going up or down my leg. I think it'll be interesting. The butterfly I'm getting is because my two friends and I created a story with 3 sisters. Their family symbol was a butterfly.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
School Boards can turn on student's personal webcams?
What the hell is wrong with that school board? Nothing that happens at home is the schools business. If there's abuse, then its usually seen at school. The U.S. Constitution does attain that a person's home is their sanctuary. The school had no right to do that. That is unacceptable behavior and the people who engaged in this behavior should be punished along with with the people who gave the OK. This is wrong and it needs to be stopped!
This is straight out of 1984 by George Orwell. Which, ironically enough, I'm reading right now. This school board's behavior is uncool, and unconstitutional. It goes against EVERYTHING that the United States was founded on. The privacy of some one's home is just that PRIVATE!!!! Leave it alone and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES do you need to know what behavior is going on at home, its got NOTHING to do with the school! At all!
What makes you think that you have that right? Because of the Patriot act? Oh hell no! That act wasn't placed so that the school board can access their students' personal computers!!!!!
Lets also take into account that they are catching students undressing and doing worse - THAT'S child pornography. And if the government okays that, then there's something wrong there. I'm going into the Navy and I know I shouldn't talk about the government, but Child pornography is ILLEGAL!!! And some of these students keep their laptops on at all time.
This makes me wonder if the net book I've been borrowing is like that, because I JUST noticed that this notebook has a camera. So what else is going on here?
I know that there's people who are going to disagree, but this is just too big.
Just a little bio
I'm Kris. I'm not really going to say my real last name, because its unsafe in today's society. I'm from Sarasota, Florida. I'm a 20 year old and a college student at Troy University. I'll be going into the Navy as soon as I graduate. I work at a grocery store, and I'm in a good relationship, at least I think its a good one.
I felt that I needed an outlet for some of my thoughts, otherwise I feel like I'm going to go completely insane. I know what the stereotype for college is - all the rich kids go to college and join fraternities and sororities. But that's not exactly true. The true college life is hard. I moved off campus, and I work almost full time. I was an honor student in high school. I graduated with honors, but now I'm struggling to maintain even a 2.7 GPA, which is what I need to get the Navy's money. Its entirely frustrating.
I work as a supervisor in the grocery store. But because I am so young and so close to the others' ages I tend to get disrespected. I've tried to be professional and not lose my cool, but I'm a former JROTC cadet. For lamest terms I was a bitch in high school. I had a reputation at the other schools' JROTC programs for not being the one to cross. Now I don't want to be the one that they hate, but I am tired of getting my butt chewed out for them not doing their jobs.
My room mates are also completely nerve racking. One doesn't really care what goes on, but the other wants a completely silent house and I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I need my music, and I don't even blare it like I like to. I keep it at a reasonable rate and she decided to all of a sudden be a complete bitch. She's also the reason my cats are no longer allowed out of my room, but I have to wait until May to get into a better situation. My best friend comes up to live with me. All I have to do is keep my cool until then.
I'm also tired of everyone treating me like I'm a child. I'm NOT a child, I'm an adult and I'm trying to do all the right things as an adult. Quit treating me as a child. I want the responsibility of an adult and its frustrating knowing that to the majority of people, if you look like a child then you must be a child. I may look like a 16 year old, but I'm almost 21. I don't care what you think I am, treat me like a damned adult. This paragraph is just my reaction to what I have to do this year with taxes. But I'm not going into it, except to say I support myself, my parents do not, I should NOT have to file as a dependent. That's all I'm going to say.
I felt that I needed an outlet for some of my thoughts, otherwise I feel like I'm going to go completely insane. I know what the stereotype for college is - all the rich kids go to college and join fraternities and sororities. But that's not exactly true. The true college life is hard. I moved off campus, and I work almost full time. I was an honor student in high school. I graduated with honors, but now I'm struggling to maintain even a 2.7 GPA, which is what I need to get the Navy's money. Its entirely frustrating.
I work as a supervisor in the grocery store. But because I am so young and so close to the others' ages I tend to get disrespected. I've tried to be professional and not lose my cool, but I'm a former JROTC cadet. For lamest terms I was a bitch in high school. I had a reputation at the other schools' JROTC programs for not being the one to cross. Now I don't want to be the one that they hate, but I am tired of getting my butt chewed out for them not doing their jobs.
My room mates are also completely nerve racking. One doesn't really care what goes on, but the other wants a completely silent house and I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I need my music, and I don't even blare it like I like to. I keep it at a reasonable rate and she decided to all of a sudden be a complete bitch. She's also the reason my cats are no longer allowed out of my room, but I have to wait until May to get into a better situation. My best friend comes up to live with me. All I have to do is keep my cool until then.
I'm also tired of everyone treating me like I'm a child. I'm NOT a child, I'm an adult and I'm trying to do all the right things as an adult. Quit treating me as a child. I want the responsibility of an adult and its frustrating knowing that to the majority of people, if you look like a child then you must be a child. I may look like a 16 year old, but I'm almost 21. I don't care what you think I am, treat me like a damned adult. This paragraph is just my reaction to what I have to do this year with taxes. But I'm not going into it, except to say I support myself, my parents do not, I should NOT have to file as a dependent. That's all I'm going to say.
- Of course this comes out at the same time as the Austin, Texas crash right?
- No I'm not crazy enough to go completely nuts on someone. I'm sane. And that paragraph is all I'm going to say about this year's taxes.
I'm not trying to come across as a depressing person to be around, its just that today was a bad day, and I'll be fine later. Just trying to get through today.
I'll write more later, but I just wanted to give a small bit of background out.
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